Self harming- My Story

When people hear the word self harming or have learnt that someone has self harmed in the past or are doing so they usually automatically jump to the conclusion that they are attention seeking. some people dont know how to process the fact when someone tells them or they find out that they are self harming. this is my story of self harming hopefully it will help someone speak out or know what and what not to say to someone who has or is self harming.

 

I started self harming when i was in middle school around year 6. i dont really know excatley what prompted the self harming but to start with it wasn’t major self harming light scratches with a ruler or pieces of plastic, banging my wrist on the wall or floor. To the people around me i was a happy energetic girl with a temper towards other individuals to what the other teachers would call me a bully to be honest looking back i use to bully other students to cover up the fact i was unhappy with myself and the fact i was getting bullied. so as the year 6 was ending my self harming got more and more frequent. i do remember summer of year 6 i was at home and i self harmed using my moms razor and it did cut into my leg but i was so good at hiding it before my dad noticed blood on my leg so i just said i caught it on the radiator so i put the blood on it to try to cover it up i dont know to this day if he believed me or not. i know i wouldnt wear short sleeved tops always wore a jumper even on the hottest day we get, wouldnt wear shorts or skirts which my mom hated but i didnt want to them know what i was doing especially as i didnt fully understand myself.

year 8 my self harming was still continuing at this point i had a best mate whom i went to first school with found out and instead of talking to me about he decided to spread it round the school that i was self harming that is when the typical name calling like attention seeker, emo , freak , crazy got stuck to me. at one point some of the other students would come up to me and pretend to self harming and mimic it to my face and laugh at it . this continued all through the year. i tryed to cover it by bullying more kids to school hoping my bullying would stop so it looked like it wasnt effecting me but eventually it all got to much so i took my first overdose in school.

 

years passed till i was 14 and i was placed into a mental health hospital for my self harming because know it wasn’t scratched they were cuts on my arms legs thighs and stomach. it did kinda help abit not as much as i wanted to i came to the fact that it was a normal way to coping with my mental health. but i did eventually open up to why i did self harm see at the point of when i started i learnt more about my birth parents and what they did to me so in my eye and brain im blood related so i didnt want to carry there blood i didnt want to be like them that was one of the reason the other was due to the fact i thought i deserved to be in pain and to have pain inflicted in my eyes i was the reason everything messed up with my birth parents.

now im 22 and i have been self harm free for a year. it is still a struggle not to go back to self harming i still have the thoughts and feelings to self harm but it can be done.

 

if you know someone who self harms the best advice i can suggest is that BE THERE FOR THEM they going to try to push you away and lie to you and deny it

DON’T PUSH THEM into talking to you about it most people are scared to open up to others about they dont know how they are going to react if they do open up to them

ADVISE THEM to speak to a qualified person they can give the person the right advice and support before it gets too late

STICK UP FOR THEM  if they are getting bullied for self harming stand up to them even if they are not in your friend group you might save them from getting worse or doing something alot worse– trust me i would of liked if someone stuck up for me would of helped alittle

NOTICE THE LITTLE THINGS if they change in personality like mine was i dropped out of all sports activities in school, if they become distant if there grades start slipping if they are wearing thick jumpers in the summer on a boiling hot day.– again spotting the early signs could help them in the long run.

 

 

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